Ghosts, ghouls and all things scary are once again out of the closet and not in the Kevin Spacey way. As kids dress up as the undead or some other form of evil, the adults are settling down to the classical horror movies we all know and love. At Fluid, we firmly believe in all things scary, gruesome and frankly we love a good horror! So, to celebrate Halloween in a truly horror filled way, we decided to pick our top 7 worst horror movies.
1 – Piranha 3D
A movie based around piranhas attacking and devouring humans, they rein terror onto the spring breakers. With no real purpose, it is all about the gore, blood and shock factor. The predictability of the plot kind of ruins it. I’m not sure laughing is the right response as someone is devoured in seconds by a fish with massive teeth.
2 – Saw Franchise
These movies are all pretty much the same. Jigsaw sets traps to test how they do through torture – both mental and physical. They don’t seem to have much of a purpose other than trying to kill people in the most horrific ways. Needle pits, bear traps for the head or the scalping chair were just some of the many devices made.
3 – The Bite
A movie based around a woman on her bachelorette party getting bitten by some unknown bug. You guessed it, she then starts to turn into this bug creature, laying gross eggs that devour human flesh. It’s not overly scary, its gruesome and focuses more on her disgusting new habits with fingernail peeling added in for good measure.
4 – Teeth
This movie is about a woman who discovers that her vagina has teeth, based on the vagina dentata folklore. A horror comedy that is more bizarre than anything else, it is literally a woman whose vagina can castrate men. With all men viewed as rapists, it seems this movie did a little more than miss the intended point.
5 – The Cottage
A movie about a bunch of kidnappers and their hostage accidentally bumping into a serial killer – who just so happens to have a nice collection of heads in his shed. It’s a horror comedy that doesn’t quite hit either scene, it disappoints on both fronts. Add in the seriously dodgy rendition of ‘Oh Macdonald’ and bad acting, this movie has to be on the list. The redeeming factor? One gets decapitated with a shovel to the mouth and another has his spine ripped out.
6 – Birdemic: Shock and Terror
A movie about birds attacking humans because, well no one knows really. It’s supposed be a romantic horror and has been dubbed the worst movie ever and honestly, we agree. The effects, the birds and well everything in the movie is just terrible. Least they have coat hangers to protect themselves.
7 – Jennifer’s Body
This movie is all about a girl being used as a human sacrifice, it backfiring because she isn’t a virgin and then proceeding to kill people so she can eat. It hits neither the horror scene or the comedy one, it is just a very bad high school movie. High school wasn’t even as bad as this movie is.